How I remember September 11th, 2001 - 15 Years Later

Photo taken by my dad on scene at Ground Zero.

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I was five years old on September 11th, 2001.  A kindergartner.

​My family lives seventeen miles from the World Trade Center in NYC, we often saw the Twin Towers when we would take the ferry into NYC or in the skyline while driving in my area.  I had never quite taken notice of them, but they were there.

I remember that when I was picked up that day from school, my mom didn't ask the typical "What did you do today at school?" as I got in the car.  My usual answer was "Nothing" but in the absence of the question I felt compelled to tell her about my day.  I remember that she softly shushed me and turned up the radio with the news on.  The sky was a bright blue.

My dad is a firefighter and a member of New Jersey's Task Force 1 Urban Search and Rescue Team.  He was deployed to the World Trade Center that morning.

I remember being worried but not fully aware of what was going on, just knowing that many people I knew were impacted by a horrible event.  I remember the TV was always on and I would try to spot my dad, one time I think I did - he was driving a small excavator.

My dad in the parking garage under Building #6

My dad was deployed for ten days.  He lived out of the Javits Center and we brought donations of socks and supplies that were brought by boat over to him.  On September 16th, my parents' 11th wedding anniversary, he met us at a restaurant on the Jersey side and I had beef stroganoff for dinner.  We parted ways after dinner and he went back to the Javits Center while we went home.

Months following, my family would go out to eat in Jersey City at a restaurant right on the water.  The parking garage we'd park in had cars still covered in dust, ones that wouldn't move from one visit to the restaurant to the next.  I remember knowing that the dust was from the attacks, and wondering if the people who owned them had died.

I am so beyond lucky that my dad came home after those ten days.  The impact of 9/11 was and continues to be so prevalent in my area.  I remember how many people lost someone close to them and how that was always something that would come up in the weeks, months, and years following.  One of my closest friends' dad was supposed to be at the World Trade Center that day, but by some twist of fate, wasn't.  I have other friends who lost their dads that day.  They wouldn't come to school on 9/11 and we all knew why.  Facebook profile pictures become snapshots of the short time that they had with their parent.

My dad doesn't talk about what he saw while deployed.  This summer I worked right next to One WTC and visited the 9/11 Memorial for the first time.  I traced names with my fingers, well aware that I likely was connected to these names by less than six degrees.  I worked in the Verizon Building, a building my dad had seen right after the attacks with steel beams penetrating it.  It was my first time being so far south in Manhattan since before 9/11.  My dad hadn't been back either.  Working there allowed me to ask my dad questions about his time while deployed.  We got on Google Maps and he showed me what was destroyed and he visited me at work and pointed out how things had changed since he had last been there.

My dad is on the bottom right in this photo taken in front of The World Financial Center Building #1.

My dad is my hero and I can only imagine that all children of first responders that travelled to the Twin Towers while everyone else ran the other way feel the same way.  I cry whenever I watch or read anything about 9/11, I've even been in tears for much of this blog post.  I know all too well that my dad could have been one of the nearly 3,000 people who did not make it home to see their loved ones and I weep for those loved ones who lost so much.

In May, my family had the honor of bringing a piece of steel from the World Trade Center to the Ithaca Fire Department, a department that has a lot of meaning to my family.  I was overcome with pride as I watched the most important first responders in my life handle the steel.

On this fifteenth year, I think about how time has flown by so fast.  I think about how my friends who lost parents have spent three quarters of their life without them.  I think about how Mike Piazza made us smile with his home run fifteen years ago and how he made us smile this year when he was inducted into the MLB Hall of Fame.  I think about home and how I am 5 hours away from NYC at school and how 9/11 does not get the same kind of reaction as it does at home.  There are no moments of silence, students don't tend to look or act somber, and it's not obvious who you know has been directly affected.

As always, my thoughts are with those affected by this tragedy.  Let us use this anniversary as a way to hold our loved ones close and unite our country.  Sending my love xx